Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Wasp Lady


I witnessed the oddest thing last Monday. After work I drove up to my parents to help them with some stuff around the house. I get there and my dad says he would like me to use the weed wacker and edge around his barn. No problem, I think. So I get the weed eater out of my car and hike back to the barn. As soon as I start dealing out death to the weeds, I am faced with my arch enemy. My nemesis! My kryptonite! The dreaded North American Wasp! These territorial, aggressive little critters seem to know how much I fear them. Dozens of them are pouring in and out of the door to the barn! Flying in two's and three's, it was like the freakin Death Star! Little tie-fighters cruising in and out of their base station. Well my mom comes out there to keep me company and feed and water her horse. She walks right through the "river" of airborne wasp! She sees my distress and says, "You want me to just close the door?". Sure!, I say. So she closes the door and that's when things got bad. It was then I realized just how many wasp were depending on that door being open to get into the "base station". Suddenly I'm surrounded by literally hundreds of wasp!! They're swarming the doorway looking for a way to get in. My heart pounded, I began sweating profusely and started backing far from the barn. I'd never seen so many wasp in one place! That's when my mom opens the door back up and says something TO THE WASP, I will never forget. She walks right through the airborne horde saying, "Its ok, come on in... come on in.. I know its your evening and your bedtime.. its ok.. its your schedule.. you just ignore him... " WHAT??!! They're wasp!! And they've somehow become her pets and she thinks she "understands" them. I think my next trip out there will be to close that barn door, get the animals out and use a pesticide bomb to kill everyone of those winged spawns of Satan! I shall have my vengeance... oh yes I shall.
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