Wednesday, July 02, 2003

Boom Bang Pow!

Its hard to believe its already the 4th of July. Now, to the rest of the world, this means virtually nothing. But here, we find ourselves sitting atop of another "american pride" holiday. To me, its just a day off work to go out on the jet ski. Which I will be doing! Today is Wednesday, but Im taking vactation from work starting tomorrow thru next tuesday. It will be nice to do nothing for a week. Even though I know thats not true! Im sure I'll be quite busy for most of it, working on a project, hanging out with friends and doing whatever.
On another note, Im planning a trip out to see my buddy Dan who lives in sunny California at the end of July. We'll be taking a drive down to San Diego to visit with my friend Zach who is in the Navy. Should be a great trip with lots of great pictures for the website. So stay tuned.
And lastly, I was send a humorous email from a co-worker. Now, for those of you who know me... I NEVER forward emails. I despise forwarded email jokes and refuse to pass them on. But this one really was clever. And because so, I will post it here. Please, read on below!

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so "profound"
that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

***Bonus Question***

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law, gas cools off when it expands and heats up when
it is compressed) or some variant, but fell short in
producing a demonstration argument.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing
in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and
the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of
these religions and since people do not belong to more than
one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With
birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure
in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freeze over. Considering then the postulate presented to me by
K. during my Freshman year that ; "it will be a cold day in Hell before
I sleep with you," and taking into account the fact that over two years
later, I still have not succeeded in having relations with her, then, #2
cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not

This student received the only "A".

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